Talk Politics with People Unlike Yourself- Get Them to vote Your Way

These suggestions are based on proven techniques in social psychology.
They can be used in other aspects of your life, too, besides politics.

Change is a process – it takes time

People go through predictable stages as their political views change or
as they move toward becoming politically active. A dyed-in-the-wool
Limbaugh conservative isn’t going to change in time for the next
election. You can be polite, but should still walk away—don’t waste
your time. With other people, however, understanding the stages of
change can greatly improve your chances of bringing them over to your
point of view.

Figure out where the other person is
Figure out where the other person is. Look for those who are wavering,
because they are more promising prospects for change. To get to them,
you have to figure out:

• Who they are
• What they’re thinking about
• Whether they’re ready to change or take action, and
• What they need to make that happen.

The most important thing for you to do first is to ASK QUESTIONS. And
listen carefully. Be patient. You want to find out where the other
person is, what’s important to them, and what can move them.

When you ask a question, wait for the person to answer—it may take them
a while to figure out what to say. Don’t interrupt, don’t preach, and
don’t push—that will just turn them off.

The more a political issue can be personalized for someone, the closer
it comes to something that matters deeply to them, the better chance
you’ll have of capturing their interest and getting them to think
differently about it.

Ask questions like:

• Are you planning to vote in the next election?
• Which candidate do you support?
• Is your mind pretty well made up, or are you kind of on the fence?
• What are the things you like about the candidate? What are the things you don’t like?
• As far as you’re concerned, what is the most important political issue now?
• Why is that issue important to you?
• Have you or others you know been personally affected by that?
• How much do you know about the candidates’ positions on that (or their personal qualities, previous track record, etc.)?

In addition to asking about the person’s view of candidates, you may
also sound them out on their overall preference between political
parties. Closer to an election, you may also be talking about specific
initiatives on the ballot, for which similar questions might be asked.

Is the person you’re talking with a good prospect?

In order to make up his or her mind to change, a person has to become
really ambivalent, uncomfortable with their old ways, ready to consider
that another option might be better. If you find a person who seems
less than rock-solid in their position, you want to

(1) make them more uncomfortable with the candidate, party, or legislation you don’t want them to vote for,
(2) promote positive feelings about the candidate, party, or legislation you do want them to vote for, and
(3) make them want to vote.

The big thing here is FEELINGS, not facts. Affirm the person’s feelings of discomfort with the “wrong” candidate, and their attraction
to your preferred candidate. Let them know they are not alone in those
feelings. Help them feel that you understand them, are like them, and
share their values and concerns.

Comments that acknowledge feelings and connect emotionally:

• “I can see how you’d feel that way.”
• “Yes, that’s something I noticed, too, and it makes me really
  uneasy when I think about what the deficit is going to mean for our
  kids.”
• “It must be hard for you, when you’ve been so frugal all your life, to see your country going in this direction now.”
• “You know, I just saw this thing in the paper about people who
  are planning to cross party lines when they vote or changing political
  parties—I guess there are quite a few people who just don’t like what’s
  going on.”
• “My brother lost his job last year, too, and he still hasn’t found decent work. It’s been hard on the whole family.”
• “You’re concerned about the environment, just like I am. I’ve
  decided I have to vote for ----, because the environment means so much
  to me.”
• “It isn’t fair, is it, that folks like us who work hard and do a good job can’t count on getting affordable healthcare.”

What else you can do

You can talk about your own feelings, why this election matters to you,
why you’ve decided to do what you’re doing now. If you used to think
more like the person you’re talking with and have changed, let them
know—your experience can serve as a model for their change. “Until this
past year, I never paid much attention to politics. I think it was when
I saw those photographs about the prisoners in Abu Ghraib that I
realized I just couldn’t stay on the sidelines any more.”

While facts are not enough, do have some facts on hand. If possible, do
your homework beforehand, so there are a couple of points you can make,
in a low-key way, about just about any topic the person brings up. Know
your preferred candidates’ websites so you can refer someone there to
get more information. There are also a couple of websites you can turn
to for nonpartisan assessment of political claims; I recommend
www.factcheck.org and www.snopes.com. Another, www.mediamatters.org, is
explicitly progressive; it does a good job of tracking misleading
stories in the media.

You don’t have to have all the answers right away. It’s OK to get back
to people later with some information—in fact, it’s good, because that
will help you build a continuing relationship around these political
matters. If your prospect brings up a negative point to which you don’t
have a response, say something like, “I heard that might not be true.
I’ll check it out and get back to you.”

If you do not support the other person’s preferred candidate,
acknowledge that candidate’s appeal, but try to call attention to their
more serious shortcomings: “I think he has an engaging personality, but
his economic policies are proving to be really bad for the middle
class” or “I know she comes across as really religious, but I wonder
about the morality of her actual decisions—I can’t square her supposed
values with her taking money from lobbyists.” By not being directly
confrontational, but expressing the fact that there is a contradiction,
you invite the other person to think about that contradiction and
possibly revise their own views about the candidate.

If they’re already thinking of changing

If the person you’re talking with is actively thinking of
changing in a direction you like (deciding to vote, changing political
party, supporting your preferred candidate), they need reinforcement
and social support. They also need a clear plan of action.

What would you like them to do? Let’s say you want them to register to
vote, and they’re thinking about doing so. That means the person has to
get a form for the right voting district, fill it out correctly, sign
it, and send it in (or have someone else send it in) by a certain date.

You can ask the person questions to find out how far their planning has advanced.

• “When are you going to do that? You know, the last date to register is October 15. That’s only two weeks from now.”
• “Do you have a registration form?” Know where people can get
  forms (e.g., at county headquarters or a public library). Better yet,
  carry forms with you all the time—you never know when you may be able
  to use one!
• You can suggest getting the National Voter Registration Form online (http://www.fec.gov/votregis/vr.htm), which can be used in all states except New Hampshire, North Dakota, and Wyoming

Encourage the person to consider multiple options. Say a person only
has one (hazy) idea of what they’re going to do—if that falls through
for some reason, they may never go through with their intended course
of action. For example, if the person intended to get a voter
registration form at the library, but the library was out of forms on
the day s/he went there, you don’t want them to give up. If the person
has more choices, it’s less likely that they’ll fail to complete the
action. You may even be able to help them or accompany them in their
action.

Help the person prepare for potential obstacles: What if there’s a
snowstorm on election day? What if they can’t find a babysitter? What
can they do so they’ll still be able to make it to the polls?

Commitment helps ensure follow-through

If a person makes a direct commitment to someone else, they’re more
likely to follow through than if they keep their intentions to
themselves. So it’s a good idea to ask someone to promise, to have them
say out loud, preferably where others can hear, what they intend to do.
If a swing-state voter says she’ll vote for your candidate, let her
know that you’ll tell the local party folks about that, and that people
will be counting on her vote. This principle of commitment is also a
good reason to ask people to sign petitions or write letters—because
they’ll then be more likely to take other actions to express their
support for the same issue.

Social support encourages action

If a person sees others taking action, or has someone to go along with,
they’re more likely to act themselves. As people prepare to make a
change, it’s natural for them to seek social support for their new
identity. First they’ll drop comments indicating their new intentions.
If these comments are well-received, they’ll get bolder and more open
about their intentions. They may make new friends, attend political
events that support their new position, read different magazines, or
change their media habits.

You can make a difference by validating others’ plans for change and
celebrating the actions they take. You can hook them up with
opportunities to get reinforcement and social support. Your sincere
enthusiasm and encouragement will make others more likely to continue
on their new course.

Ask for more

A lot will be needed to make a difference in the way this country is
going—voter registration, but also money, tabling, phoning, and
get-out-the-vote efforts. You’re probably doing more now than you’ve
done in previous years—talking with more people, volunteering more
time, giving more money.

Well, there’s another thing you can do—you can ask others to do more,
too. This is not the time to be shy. Ask your progressive friends to
make donations, to go to events with you, to help out with voter
registration. Even if they’re already planning to vote the way you’d
like them to, there’s probably a bit more they can do, and every little
bit will help.

What about the others, those I disagree with who don’t want to change?

A major reason to avoid debates is because, in the process of arguing
their position, the other person will just become more attached to
their ideas. So side-step arguments that will only reinforce your
opponents’ views.

As for trying to change someone who’s pretty far away from where you
are, it all depends on how much time you have. It’s not worth wasting
time on pointless arguments, but thoughtful conversations and
perseverance often can lead a person to change over time—but that time
may mean months or years, not just days.

If you do find yourself across the dinner table with someone
you simply do not agree with, use questions to try to get them “off
message.” Find a subject that’s not one of their “canned” topics. Ask
about their children’s school or how they are being affected by recent
changes in the economy. In other words, something that won’t let them
just parrot back their habitual way of talking about issues.

Standing up to a bully is the most effective response

Many people adopt a bullying tone in political conversation these days,
imitating what they hear on talk radio and other media. If others are
around, they may “play to the audience” by ridiculing your positions or
you personally. If a person is bullying you verbally, address that
behavior directly by saying that it is not an appropriate way to talk,
that you don’t believe in bullying, name-calling, or ridicule, and that
you will not accept it. You are sure to gain respect from those
listening or witnessing the exchange. Your direct and courageous
response will help them to recognize the negative effects of verbal
bullying.

It’s not fun to think about, but bullying happens all the time, so it’s worth being prepared.

These are processes taken from proven techniques in social psychology.
They can be used in other aspects of your life, too, besides politics.

Be good to yourself

During the political season, it’s important to keep your energy and
your spirits up. Play a bit. Take short breaks from the intensity of
campaigning.

Share this time with friends. Share this article. Practice with each
other, asking questions and listening. Decide what you can do to help
each other make that critical difference. And celebrate your
victories—the little ones along the way to the big ones you’re hoping
for on Election Day.

© Katherine Forrest, 2005

About the author:

This article is based on Talking Politics with People Unlike Ourselves,
a workshop offered by the Commonweal Institute. Dr. Katherine Forrest,
who developed the workshop, has extensive experience as a trainer and
as a trainer of trainers, based on her work at Harvard School of Public
Health, Yale University, University of Connecticut, and Planned
Parenthood.